Healing Heart
by bluegirl-783
Summary: It was one of the worst days of Clarisse's life and now, a year later, she is remembering every moment of that dreadful day...the day when she lost her son....Thankfully, Joseph is with her every step of the way.
1. A Sad Day

It was a beautiful April morning in Genovia, and the sun was streaming through the bay windows of her study, but Queen Clarisse Rinaldi paid no attention to it. She was deep in work, and dreading the thought of what she had to do today. Not exactly dreading, more like disbelief and she was hoping that it was merely a dream. But too many nights in the past year had proved otherwise- it was no dream.

She glanced at her watch after signing another interminable letter, and realised it was time to go.

"Charlotte?" she turned to her diligent assistant, who was busy taking notes on the settee. Charlotte looked up, instantly at attention for her Queen and boss.

"Yes, Your Majesty?"

"Can you see if the car is ready yet? It is time for me to go. Oh," she added as Charlotte began walking out the door. "Can you see if Joseph is available?"

"Yes, Your Majesty," Charlotte said at the doorway, and disappeared. Clarisse stood up, and walked over to the windows to look over at her beautiful rose garden. She usually took such great pleasure in seeing the rainbow of colours but today…..

The sound of the telephone ringing brought her out of her reverie. Since it was on her personal line, she took the call.

"Grandma?" It was her granddaughter, Amelia, calling from America.

"Mia! My dear, what time is it there?"

"Oh, about midnight, but I wanted to call you before I went to bed. Mom said it was okay." Clarisse smiled at the sound of her voice, and sat down at her desk again.

"Actually, it is perfect timing. I was on my way out- it's about a two hour trip."

"How are you?" Mia's voice was filled with compassion- although they had only reconnected almost a year ago after fifteen years, the relationship had deepened quicker than Clarisse had imagined- but she was glad for it. Clarisse shrugged, relieved that Mia couldn't see her at that moment.

"I'm alright- it's just hard, these visits to him. I never imagined that I would be doing this…." She broke off, tears choking her voice.

"It's alright, Grandma. I completely understand. I barely knew him, but I knew that he was always there if I needed him. I wish I could be there with you- you know I would be if I could, don't you?"

"Of course," Clarisse chuckled fondly. "But you are still at school, darling, and have your own life to live. You belong to Genovia only in the summers, for now. Anyway, how is school- and Lily, and your mother?"

Clarisse was genuinely interested in Mia's life, but it was also partly to get her mind off that day.

"School is fine- I got an A in debate. I guess that speech at the Independence Day Ball really made a difference, hey?"

They both laughed at the memory of Mia's late arrival at the Ball in San Francisco, and the announcement that had taken everyone, except Clarisse, by surprise.

"I knew it," Clarisse agreed.

"Lily and Michael are fine- and I never realised how annoyingly stubborn boys can be at times. Did you know….."

Clarisse was still half listening to Mia but was also thinking how much alike she was to Phillipe, both physically and character wise. Phillipe never shut up, at least when he was young, and he was sometimes very clumsy, much to the despair of his father.

But he was kind, caring, intelligent and happy go lucky- all the things she cherished in her granddaughter. She glanced up, still listening to Mia, to see Joseph, clad in black, standing in front of her desk.

"Mia? I'm sorry, darling, but I'm going to have to go. Joseph is here, ready to take me on my trip….But I'll call you tonight, and tell you all about it, alright?"

"Of course, Grandma. And say hi to Joe for me. Talk to you tonight!"

"Mia." Clarisse said by way of explanation when she hung up. "She called to see how I was."

"I see- caring girl is Princess Mia. She knows you very well," came Joe's reply. "Anyway, Your Majesty, the car is waiting downstairs for you."

"Are you accompanying me?" she asked as she accepted her coat from Charlotte. "What's the weather like outside?"

"There are clouds approaching, Your Majesty, but it shouldn't rain until we come back- and yes, I am coming with you. I always do," he teased, trying to make her smile, but she only nodded and looked away.

Joe didn't like to see her sad and closed off- although she had always been reserved, she used to be much happier and had begun to be so again since her granddaughter had come back into her life.

But her mood was to be expected today….one of the most difficult days of her life.

"Would you like me to cancel your appointments for this afternoon?" Charlotte spoke up, notebook poised.

Although Clarisse knew that she was only doing her job, at that moment all she wanted to do was scream.

"That won't be necessary, Charlotte. We should be back by two," Clarisse said a little too curtly, putting on her coat.

She softened as she turned towards them, realising how hard it had sounded. "I'm sorry, Charlotte. If there are any problems, Joseph will call."

"That's fine Your Majesty."

Charlotte completely understood- only she and Joseph knew how much strain Her Majesty had been under in the past year, and if she hadn't known how strong Clarisse was, Charlotte would have expected her to collapse a long time ago.

But Clarisse Rinaldi had learnt a lot since her marriage to the heir to the Genovian throne, and she wouldn't give in to any emotion- under any circumstances. She had often been criticised in the past for her cool and contained demeanour, but it was a form of protection for her. She didn't want anyone to see the personal heartbreak she had suffered.

Thankfully, her almost seventeen year old granddaughter had brought laughter and joy back into her life in the past year, making everything seem almost bearable again.

Outside the palace, Joseph opened the car door for her, and she stepped smartly in. Once he was in the front next to the driver, he glanced in the review mirror at her. She looked beautiful; to him she always did, but sombre in a grey coat and black and white scarf. It was expected that she would wear dark colours on this particular day, but he loved seeing her in brighter colours, which she had begun wearing last year after 14 months of mourning.

"Is there any press present outside the gates?" she asked quietly, looking out the window as the car sped down the driveway.

"There shouldn't be, Ma'am. Press don't like the rain- makes them melt," Joe joked, and was pleased to see a faint smile on her face as she looked at him for a moment. Clarisse had wanted to ask him to sit in the back with her, it was often lonely sitting in the back alone, but years of training had taught her to hold her tongue, although at times she wished she had the courage to do something impulsive.

She also wished that she wasn't going to where she had to go….she had never imagined that she would ever have had to bury a son…especially her beloved Phillipe….She could still remember every moment of that dreadful day…..the day she lost her Phillipe………..


	2. Phillipe

_Disclaimer: I forgot to put this on my first chapter, but none of the characters are my own, the belong to Disney._

It was another warm spring morning and Clarisse and Charlotte were hard at work in her study when they both heard the door of her study open.

"Good morning Mother," a cheerful voice called, and Clarisse looked up to see her dark haired, bearded son standing in the doorway.

"Hard at work already? Don't you ever stop?" Clarisse had to laugh as she put down her pen and watched her son walk towards her.

"One day, Phillipe, this is going to be your responsibility, and you'll be working morning, noon and night too!" but there was a fond note her voice.

Phillipe look mock horrified.

"Hopefully it won't be too soon- you're doing a fantastic job!" He bent over to kiss her cheek and she detected the scent of cologne on his neck.

"Thank you, darling, but it will come to you soon enough." She watched as he smiled at Charlotte, who was walking discreetly towards the door, and then sat down in a chair opposite her.

He was looking more and more like his father every day- although Rupert had never grown a beard- but his character was more like hers, although he was more outgoing and cheerful. He was tall, with an athletic physique- he loved all sports, and when he wasn't doing his royal duties, he tried to have a game of rugby with some of his security men at least twice a week. He had developed an interest in soccer when he was in England at boarding school, but had become obsessed with football while in America, so he had combined both interests.

However, he also had serious pursuits such as reading, painting and politics, and took all his royal responsibilities seriously. Many was the time that he and Rupert had had heated debates over the direction of Genovia, and while Rupert had usually stormed off, Phillipe had taken it less seriously.

"Oh, I found Mia's birthday present yesterday, but I had forgotten to tell you."

"Oh, what did you get?" Clarisse asked curiously- although she had only seen her granddaughter once, she was touched to see the continuing interest Phillipe had in her life, and the relationship he had maintained with Helen, the girl's mother.

They had met in college, and although they had married and had a daughter, Helen had found the palace life too constraining for her free artistic life. It had been the hardest decision that Phillipe had ever had to make, but he decided to let them go back to the United States.

But he had made sure that he kept in close contact with them and, hopefully, one day Amelia would visit Genovia and realise her destiny. For the moment, however, she had no idea that her father was the future King of Genovia, and both Phillipe and Helen preferred it that way.

"It's a beautiful carousel music box- it was so beautiful," his face lit up at the thought of it. "I'll show you it tomorrow morning. I think she'll really like it, Mother."

After a pause, Clarisse asked, sitting back in her chair

"So, what is on your agenda for today?"

She could afford a few moments conversation with her youngest son. It was a pity that she had never had the time to do the same with Pierre, although he much preferred talking with his father.

"Not much- I have a dinner tonight at Sebastian Motez's but I was planning to go waterskiing on the lake this afternoon with some of the boys from college. It's one of my first free days in ages!" He laughed, and his mother joined in. "What about you?"

Clarisse waved to the mountain of paperwork on her desk.

"As you can see, all this needs to be read and signed, and then I have a session of parliament this afternoon but, hopefully, after that I will be able to relax"

She sounded a little tired, and Phillipe looked at her sympathetically- his mother had taken on the mantle of monarch very well when his father died, but sometimes he wondered whether she had wanted to do something else with her life. She had been a loyal and dutiful wife and Queen Consort to Rupert but just looking in her eyes at times, he could tell that she hadn't been happy. She would never have told anyone that, of course, but Phillipe was close enough and sensitive enough to realise that she needed and deserved more than the occasional affection his father had given her. She needed someone like…Joseph, who was such a good man, and cared about her dearly. Phillipe wished that she could have more in her life than being an ornament or, now in the opposite direction, working herself into the ground.

"You know, Mama, if you ever want to have an afternoon off from all of this, I'll be more than happy to do it," he said, his voice full of compassion, and Clarisse looked at him in surprise.

She was closer to him than anyone else (with the exception of Joseph, her loyal bodyguard), but it still surprised her to find out how well he knew her, and how intuitive he could be.

"Thank you Phillipe, I really appreciate that- but, you know, this time next year you will be doing all this anyway, so I'm just filling in time until then."

There was a long pause as Phillipe tried to find the words to ask her a question that had been on his mind for a long time.

"Mama, what are you going to do once I become King? I know, while still I'm unmarried you will be here acting as hostess, but what else will you be doing?"

Clarisse looked surprised at the question, although she had been pondering the same thing herself.

"I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it. I guess I could devote my time to my charity work….and to my garden, there's always something that needs to be done…"

"Would you ever remarry?" he pressed, and she looked away for a moment before looking back at him.

"Phillipe, I was married to your father for a long time and, although we weren't in love with one another. I was very fond of him. Somehow, I don't think I could ever try and repeat that again. One marriage was enough."

But they were both aware of how empty that marriage had been.

"But there are good me out there, Mama, and there are some people I know who care about you deeply, and you care about too," he added slyly, and Clarisse smiled, standing up from her desk.

"I know who you mean, my love, and I don't know how you found out about that, but I don't think people would accept a relationship, let alone marriage, between us. Besides, he might not want to marry at all!"

"Mama, he's crazy about you, always has been, and you're crazy about him too. And who cares what other people think? You won't be Queen for much longer, and you do have the right to a private life after everything you have done for Genovia!"

Phillipe was getting worked up, and Clarisse was touched, but she wasn't convinced that the people would be alright with her remarrying.

"Remember, your father was a beloved king. What kind of wife would I be if I married just a year after his death?"

"I'm not saying marrying right now, but in time, maybe the right man will come along and you will want to marry. And if that day comes, which I'm sure it will, you will have my support, 100 ."

"Thank you, sweetheart. But royalty has to set an example- something which you sometimes forget," she teased, ruffling his hair, and walking back to her desk. "No, Phillipe, I don't think it would ever work out…"

She was interrupted by the opening of the door, and in stepped Joseph.

"Your Majesty, Your Highness" he bowed at the two of them. "Prime Minister Motez would like to see you for a few minutes, Your Majesty."

"I have to go anyway, "Phillipe said, standing and stretching. "I promised I'd meet the boys at the lake at noon. And no, Mother, I won't be late back tonight," he added with a grin before his mother asked the question.

"I'll see you tonight, Mama." He walked around the desk, and gave her an enormous hug. For a moment Clarisse was seized by a momentary feeling of disaster, but she tried to ignore it- she had been having moments like these since Rupert had fallen ill.

"Have a good afternoon, Phillipe," she stood to return his hug, and was surprised by his next words.

"I love you Mama. More than you will ever know," he whispered into her ear.

"I love you too, Phillipe. You're a good boy- most of the time," she joked, trying to shake the feeling she had. He winked at her

"Think about what I said," and turned to walk away. "See you later, Joseph," he said as he walked past Joe, who smiled and nodded. Everyone liked His Royal Highness- but he especially liked him because he made Clarisse so obviously happy. Phillipe paused, and turned in the doorway one last time, and gave her one of his famous grins.

"Go on!" she chided him with a smile, and he disappeared with one last wave.


	3. An Extraordinary Afternoon

_Disclaimer: Princess Diaries and characters belong to Disney, not me_

The meeting with Sebastian lasted less than half an hour, and Clarisse found herself unexpectedly finishing all her paperwork a good two hours before she was due in parliament. She smiled at the memory of Phillipe's look of horror at all the work she had to do, and planned to tell him when he returned that she had done all that work within the morning.

After a light lunch, she was going to sit down with a book she had been trying to read for over 3 months, but never seemed to have the time to do, when she looked out the window and realised there was something else she wanted to do more.

"Joseph!" she called- although she made it a rule that no one was to yell in the palace, Joseph was usually within hearing distance, so she felt alright calling out to him. Sure enough, he poked his head into the room.

"Your Majesty?" he looked quizzical.

"Let's go for a walk in the garden," she said brightly, throwing her book onto the couch, and standing up. "As long as you remind me to come in ten minutes early to prepare for parliament."

"Yes Your Majesty," Joe said smiling.

He liked it when she was bright and happy- those moments had been rare in the past year, and even before that, while Rupert was still alive. But he knew that she could be happy when she wanted to be- especially when she was with her beloved Phillipe. But he had failed to notice, but Phillipe had, that she was also happy around him too.

"Isn't it a beautiful afternoon?" she breathed in deeply as they descended the palace steps into the garden.

"No, you don't have to walk so far behind me, Joseph. Walk beside me," and he moved to right beside her.

"We do have some beautiful afternoons in April," Joseph conceded with a smile. "Probably to make up for the horrible wind and cold in February and March."

Clarisse turned to him with a smile.

"I've never heard you complain about the weather before, Joseph. I complain all the time about the weather, and whether it will affect my outfits, but you always seem not to care."

"Believe me, Your Majesty, I complain a lot- just not in front of you."

"Why is that?" she asked as she strolled up to the nearest rose bush and stopped to sniff at a pale pink rose.

"You know, I think I only complain in front of you and only you….and didn't I tell you to call me Clarisse when we're alone?"

"I'm sorry, I forgot. And I've never heard you complain to anyone- even me."

"I don't know, but I do," she shrugged. "I'm supposed to be perfect to everyone at all times and in all places…but I always seem to let my guard down around you. I don't know why."

"Perhaps because I've been your loyal servant for all these years?" he teased offering his arm to her. She looked surprised at the question as she accepted his arm.

"You are not, and have never been just a loyal servant, Joseph. You have always been a loyal friend to me over the years, for which I'm very grateful..."

She stopped herself from saying what she wanted to say- that she loved him, and always had.

"Do you know what Phillipe asked me before," she changed the subject. "Whether I would ever remarry! What a ridiculous idea- as if that could ever be possible for me, even when Phillipe is King!"

"Why is that so ridiculous, Clarisse? You will no longer be Queen, and your life will be your own. Why not?"

He led her over to a nearby garden seat, and they both sat down on it.

"I will still have a position to maintain, Joseph. I will be a former Queen, and the mother a king. I don't think anyone would accept me marrying again. I think it would have to be a really special man to interest me in marriage again."

She looked at him for a moment, and then turned away before he could figure out her secret.

"That sounds like a lonely life, Clarisse."

"Not so lonely as the life I led with Rupert," Clarisse shrugged carelessly, although she knew Joseph was right. "I sometimes miss him, you know."

She would never have confessed this to anyone else, but she knew Joseph would never tell anyone- and she told him most things anyway.

"Of course you would, after almost 40 years of marriage."

"But I didn't love him" she struggled to say, and Joe turned to look at her intensely in the eyes.

"I've always known that." There was a long pause as Clarisse tried to think of a reply.

"How could you? I've tried to keep my feelings to myself!" He took her hand in his

"You sometimes forget, Clarisse that I have been your bodyguard almost as long as you've been Queen, and I know how to read you."

She blushed and looked away, as Joseph moved closer to her on the bench.

"Clarisse, look at me," he said softly and, after a moment, she turned to look at him.

"Joseph, I….." she began, not quite sure how to express her feelings, but Joseph stopped her with a long, loving kiss on her lips. He was sure that there was no one else around but, even if there was, he didn't care. Everyone knew how they felt about each other, and it was time to bring it out into the open.

When they broke apart, he looked anxiously into her face and was relieved that she wasn't angry.

"I'm so glad you aren't angry…" She stopped him by leaning forward for another kiss.

"Why should I be angry?" she purred at him. "My feelings for you aren't a secret to anyone- even my own son knows!"

For a moment Joseph looked surprised, and then burst into laughter.

"And I was trying to be discreet! I do love you, Clarisse, and I have for a very long time."

"And I love you too," she beamed at him, tears in her eyes. "I didn't realise how much until just then. But…"she looked thoughtful. "What are we going to do now?"

"I have an idea," he breathed, giving her another kiss before taking her hands in his. "I would go down on my knees if I could, but you know how they've been giving me trouble lately…"

"Are you going to see someone about them?" she looked concerned- she didn't like the thought of him being in any sort of pain.

"Eventually….but Clarisse, you changed the subject! What I'm trying to say is…..once Phillipe becomes King; will you do the honour of becoming my wife?" He didn't look at her for a moment- he knew that she needed a little time to think about it. "You don't have to answer me now……"

"Yes, I will," she interrupted him softly. He looked into her face- she was smiling dreamily at him, and there were tears in her eyes. Clarisse didn't know what was going on, or why her lips had said that, but all of a sudden she knew was that she wanted to marry Joseph.

"Are you sure?" he didn't want to pressure her at all, but she only leaned over and gave him a kiss.

"I've never been surer of anything in my life."

"But what about everything you just said earlier? About a special man only able to entice you into marriage? About what everyone would think?"

"You are a special man, Joseph," she gently touched his face with her hand. "You are the only man who could do that- I just wasn't sure about your feelings about me. And, both you and Phillipe are right- it will soon be my turn to do what I want, without considering Genovia into the equation."

She sat back on the seat with a gentle smile, while Joseph looked at her, trying to figure out her reasoning.

"Why…."

"I just suddenly realised that I wanted to be married- to you," she said simply. "And I won't be Queen next year, so it is the perfect time for us. I know Phillipe will approve….."

"Actually, he told me last year that he approved of us." Clarisse looked surprised

"I knew that boy wanted me to be happy, but I didn't think he was that intuitive!"

"He's his mother's son," Joseph said wisely, holding her hand to his lips. He happened to glance at his watch, and gave a start.

"I hate to be unromantic, my love, but you are due in parliament in less than 20 minutes!"

"Oh…."Clarisse groaned, standing up. Joseph took her into his arms and kissed her one more time, before leading her back towards the palace.

As soon as they came into sight, Joe stepped back two steps, as indicated in protocol. The only sign that anything had happened between them was when he opened the door for her, and she smiled radiantly at him before stepping inside.


	4. Dreadful News

_Thanks to everyone for their reviews- this chapter was really hard to write, and I hope it sounds alright! I felt a bit teary when I was re-writing it!_

_DISCLAIMER: The characters and the Princess Diaries belong to Disney, not me_

It was difficult to concentrate for the rest of the afternoon, but Clarisse managed to sit through another boring parliament session- and even managed to look interested- but today it seemed drag on even longer than usual.

"I don't understand how a minor issue of flowers in gardens in the Pyrus main square can turn so heated! How can a group of grown men argue about that?" she asked Charlotte in consternation as they walked back to her suite.

Glancing out a nearby window, Clarisse was surprised to see that it was dark. She glanced at her watch- it was nearly half past six.

"I don't know, Your Majesty," came Charlotte's automatic response. She was very tired- as usual it had been a long day- but, tired as she was, she noticed there was a special glow about Her Majesty.

She knew that Clarisse adored spending time alone in her garden with Joseph, but today there was something more.

As if she knew what Charlotte was thinking, Clarisse paused outside the door of her suite, and turned to look at her.

"Where is Joseph by the way? I saw him sneak out about half an hour ago, and never came back."

"I have no idea, Your Majesty" Charlotte said honestly, as Clarisse smiled warmly at her.

"Can you tell him that I would like to see him when he returns? Good night Charlotte!"

Charlotte smiled at the closing door, and turned to leave…colliding with Joseph.

"There you are!" she exclaimed. "Her Majesty would like to speak with you….Is there something wrong?" she suddenly noticed that he looked devastated.

For a moment he just stared at her, and then realised that Charlotte had spoken to him.

"Yes there is, Charlotte. I have just received some dreadful news, and I'd better tell you before I go in and tell Her Majesty…."

Inside her suite, Clarisse was practically walking on air- she was going to marry Joseph, but no one had the faintest idea! Charlotte suspected something, she could tell, and Clarisse was going to tell her in the morning, but she wanted to keep it a secret for a little while. She wanted to savour the moment…and tell Phillipe first. He deserved to know- after all, she though with a smile, he had encouraged both of them to make a move.

She glanced at her watch- he usually didn't stay out late, and usually popped in to say goodnight, so it would be the perfect time to tell him. It was funny how things turned out, she chuckled to herself as she poured herself a small glass of wine.

This morning she had had no intention of marrying again, even when Phillipe had made his persuasive argument, but after a kiss (or several) from Joseph, she was ready to elope, if necessary! She picked up a picture of Phillipe from her desk, and looked at it for a few minutes.

"Thank you, Phillipe," she whispered to the picture, before placing it down again and sat down on the couch, reaching for her book. Hopefully Joseph would be too long…she wanted to tell him something else….

After a few moments, she heard the door slowly open, and she looked up with a smile that brightened when she saw Joseph standing there.

"Hello, you! I was wondering where you were!" she teased as she stood up and began walking over to greet him.

Joseph watched her walking over, and dreaded the task he had to do, but he knew that Clarisse would prefer to hear it from him. But how could he tell her this? How could he break her heart? How could he wipe that radiant smile off her lips with the news he had to tell her?

"Hello Clarisse," he smiled wanly at her, and kissed her gently on the lips, distracted by the task ahead of him. Clarisse, still very happy, didn't notice his quiet and distracted demeanour.

"Where did you go this afternoon during parliament? I know it was boring but…."

"Clarisse, why don't we sit down?" he interrupted her, and led her by the hand over to the couch.

After she had sat down, he followed suit and took both her hands in his.

"Joseph, my love, is there something wrong?" her smile faltered slightly as he looked at her intently for a moment, no smile on his face. "Are your knees…."

"No, my darling, my knees are fine. Clarisse, there's something I have to tell you, and it's going to be very hard for you to hear."

He paused for a moment, trying to find the words, as Clarisse stared at him, her blue eyes widening. What could possibly be wrong…maybe he had changed his mind about this afternoon? Maybe he didn't want to marry her, she thought in a panic, and then calmed herself with the thought that she would still love him anyway.

"Joseph, you can tell me," she said gently, ready to take the blow. Maybe it was just as well they didn't marry for a while.

"Alright," Joseph took a deep steadying breath, and looked into her eyes. "Phillipe was killed this afternoon." There, he'd said it.

But he was more worried about how Clarisse was going to take the news. At the moment, although her face had gone white, she was just staring at him with a small smile on her face.

"You're joking, aren't you? You and Phillipe decided to play a trick on me- you have before- although it's not at all funny," she said after a moment, chuckling slightly.

"No, Clarisse my love, I'm not joking. Phillipe was killed in a car accident on the way back to the palace."

He hated to repeat the words, but he had to make sure that it sunk in with Clarisse. Clarisse just stared at him for a long time and then, as if in a dream, stood up and walked slowly to the window.

"Clarisse?" he said gently, following her from a distance. He had never seen her react like this- even when Rupert had died, she had been upset but accepting.

But, then again, she had never expected her youngest child to be killed.

"When?" came her hoarse reply from the window.

"It happened about four this afternoon. I was contacted just half an hour ago, that's why I left parliament early…."

"Was there anyone else killed?" she asked in a monotone, still staring out the window. The news wouldn't sink in- her beloved Phillipe had been killed! It couldn't be true- maybe it was a nightmare, and she would wake up in a moment and nothing would have happened. It was heavily overcast outside, she noted detachedly, and it would probably rain that night.

"One of his security men- James- but everyone else in the car sustained minor injuries. The other car was following behind…"He trailed off, realising that she wasn't listening.

There was a long silence as Clarisse continued to stare blankly out the window and, just as Joe walked towards her, she started to collapse onto her knees, and he rushed to catch her.

"Please, Joseph, tell me its not true," she whispered into his ear as he helped her back to the couch and, despite the stiffness in his knees, knelt in front of her.

"I wish I could tell you that, darling," he whispered, stroking her hand as she stared at him in disbelief before letting out an agonising, heartbreaking scream.

Charlotte, standing outside with the guards and Shades, heard it and all three of them were chilled to bone by the agony of a mother's loss. Charlotte spotted Clarisse's two maids standing a little distance away, looking horrified, and she walked slowly over to them to tell them the news, and why their mistress was screaming in pain.

She and she alone would have the dreadful task of informing the palace, parliament and the Genovian people that their popular and handsome Crown Prince was gone. Clarisse couldn't be expected to do. Charlotte almost physically sagged under the weight of her duty, when she felt someone by her side- it was Shades.

"I'll help you," he murmured, and she smiled gratefully at him, before looking towards the Queen's suite again. Thank goodness Her Majesty had Joseph to help her cope with this tragic loss.

Inside, Clarisse was still screaming, before falling onto the floor into Joseph's arms. He settled into a more comfortable position before holding her as tightly as he could, to show her that she could always depend on him, as the tears began to flow on both their faces.

"Why? Why? Why, Phillipe?" she screamed, tears running down her face, and barely feeling Joseph's arms around her. "He was such a good man, and ready to be King! It's so unfair!" she sobbed, before completely collapsing onto Joseph's chest.

All he could do was hold her as she cried, heartbroken, for a long, long time.

"It's going to be alright, darling," he kept crooning to her as she cried, and was relieved as she finally began to calm down, and her shoulders stopped shaking as hard.

"Why don't we sit on the couch? It would be much more comfortable for the both of us," he said lightly as she raised her face to look at him. The pain and despair in her eyes and face took his breath away- she had never looked like this when her husband died, or when Pierre had abdicated…..

But this, this was the face of a woman on the edge, a woman ready to give up completely on life. She had suffered so much in the past three years, and Joseph was more than a little concerned that she wouldn't be able to handle it. But he wouldn't let her give up, he vowed silently to himself.

"I'm sorry…your knees…" she said hoarsely, standing and helped him to sit on the couch. "That was very thoughtless of me…" she began walking away, as if in a dream but, somehow, her legs couldn't hold her up, and Joseph pulled her down next to him.

"No it wasn't, my love," he said, looking her in the eyes. She was still in shock, and he dreaded the time when it really would hit her. "Would you like some time alone…."

"NO!" she almost shouted, clutching his arm. "I don't want to be alone right now. Can you stay with me?" she almost whimpered the last words as her eyes began to fill again. She almost looked like a lost little girl, asking for help.

"I will stay with you as long as you want me," he said steadily, getting up with a little difficulty. "I'm just getting us both a brandy," he added, seeing the panic in her eyes. She was a lot more vulnerable now, and Joseph felt a strong need to protect her, as he always had.

"Why, Joseph? He was ready to be King," she asked softly as he made his way to the bar, and took out two glasses.

"He was ready," he agreed. "But it was an accident, Clarisse. There was nothing you could do for him."

He turned with the two glasses, and was surprised to see her looking at him angrily, her eyes blue ice.

"How do you know? I could have told him not to go- sometimes this April weather is unpredictable…."

"Would he have listened to you?" he handed her her glass, and sat down beside her. She glared at him for a moment, and he knew that the anger was only a façade. "Drink it."

She sipped the liquid, and wrinkled her nose.

"Why did you give me this?"

"It will help you. You've just had a terrible shock. Keep drinking," he encouraged, sipping his drink while watching her. She usually kept things to herself, and he was relieved that she had opened her heart to him tonight, and that she didn't want to be alone.

There was a light tap on the door, and both of them looked up as Charlotte crept into the room.

"Your Majesty…if there's anything I can do…."

The poor girl looked so nervous and upset that, even in her devastation, Clarisse appreciated her courage to come back into her suite.

"Would you please inform Prime Minster Motez and the members of parliament," she said softly, her voice hoarse from screaming and crying. "And everyone in the palace.

"What about….?" Charlotte trailed off questioningly, and Clarisse almost dissolved into tears again. How on earth were they going to tell his daughter?

"I'll take care of that," Joseph said firmly, putting his arm around Clarisse again as she began to sob again. Charlotte, clearly near tears herself, nodding and slipped quietly out of the room.

Clarisse held out her glass for another shot of brandy, and she quickly threw that down as fast as her first, despite her distaste for the drink.

"What are we going to do now?" she murmured half to herself as Joseph listened, patting her on the back. "There are so many things to do….the f-funeral," she cried, and Joseph just kept holding her.

"You can think of all that tomorrow, my darling. I think you need to go to bed now," he advised, and she looked up at him with a watery smile.

"What would I do with out you?"

"I'm sure you would be able to cope just fine," he said as he stood up, a little stiffly, and held out a hand for her. Charlotte must have told her maids the news, he thought as he helped her into the bedroom, and turned his back as she changed into her nightgown. Thankfully she had- Clarisse couldn't deal with anyone beyond Joseph and Charlotte tonight. When he turned around, she was in bed, and leaning back on her fluffed pillows.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she looked at him sadly, and he sat down on the other side of the bed.

"If you really want me to."

"I do…..I can't bear to be alone tonight….I wanted to be alone when Rupert died, but I can't bear it now…."

"Of course I will," he said, turning to take his boots off. He had never imagined that he would be spending the night in Her Majesty's suite- although he had fantasised, in happier circumstances- but all he wanted tonight was to comfort her. He lay down next to her, and she curled up in a ball next to him.

"I love you so much, Joseph," she murmured sleepily- the emotions of the past hour had worn her out.

"I love you too, Clarisse," he said, as she rested her head on his chest………

THE PRESENT

"Your Majesty? Your Majesty" In the far distance, Clarisse heard Joseph calling to her, and she looked up. They had obviously arrived at the cemetery, as Joseph had opened the door and was waiting patiently for her to get out.

'Thank you Joseph," she said faintly, putting on her dark glasses and stepping out of the car.

"I'll be here if you need me," he whispered in her ear before she walked away. She had obviously been thinking about what had happened- he could see the traces of tears on her face, before she had put her glasses on.

For the first time since it had happened, she had closed the part between the driver and the passenger, and Joseph didn't want to press the issue- obviously she had wanted the time on her own.

Clarisse glanced around as she made the short walk to her son's grave- thankfully it was a private place, and no press were allowed anywhere near it. Just in case they had had any ideas, there had been tall hedges planted all the way around the cemetery to provide extra protection. She stood for a moment, staring at his headstone, which simply read:

HRH PRINCE PHILLIPE RENALDI, DEVOTED SON AND FATHER

"I can't believe you aren't here anyone, my darling," she whispered, a solitary tear falling down underneath her dark glasses. "It's been a year today, and still it hurts so much."

She knelt down onto the grass- she didn't care that she wasn't supposed to do this, and her security men were with her- but somehow kneeling down made her closer to him. She looked into the cloud heavy sky for a moment, and thought about what she had just said.

A year ago……..the pain was still with her, which had only intensified as she, with faithful Joseph by her side, prepared to say goodbye……….


	5. Arrangements and apologies

_Disclaimer: None of the characters, or the Princess Diaries itself belong to me..._

_This is a rather long chapter this time, but I hope you enjoy it!_

The next morning, Clarisse stirred early and look up at the ceiling. Why was she waking up so early, after so little rest? Then she remembered- her Phillipe had been killed in a car accident the afternoon before….and Joseph had proposed to her, and she had said yes….Her eyes filled with tears again, knowing there were decisions she had to make, but she forced herself to brush them aside. She had had her moment of agony the evening before, and now it was time to be Queen Clarisse Renaldi again, only she was also a mother burying her son. She continued staring at the ceiling for a moment, before remembering that Joseph had spent the night, and turned to look at him….only to find he was gone.

"Joseph?" she whispered, in a slight panic before hearing noise from the other room, and looked up to see him entering the room, carrying a tray laden with her breakfast and a cup of tea.

"Good morning, my love. I thought that you needed the lie in, so I organised breakfast for you," he explained as he handed her the tray, and then gave her a kiss before sitting next to her on the bed.

"That was very thoughtful of you, Joseph, but I didn't have a lie in. I barely slept all night."

"I know," he said sympathetically, remembering her anguished cries in her sleep, and the way she kept close to him all night, as if she was afraid of losing him too.

"Has anyone contacted Pierre?" she asked, looking down at her breakfast- another sign that she wasn't herself.

Normally, when she asked a question, she looked the person she was speaking to directly in the eye.

"Yes, and he will be here later in the morning. What are you planning to do first?" he asked gently- he knew she was putting up a brave face for the sake of everyone else, but he was more worried about her than anyone.

"I'm going to have Charlotte arrange an emergency session of parliament- it's possible that they know more than I do, and then I'm going to start preparing for….the funeral, and keep going with any other business. That's the way to go, isn't it?" she looked at him a little beseechingly, and he had to agree with her reasoning.

"Yes, but don't push yourself too hard today. You've got a difficult week ahead." She smiled coolly at him.

"I won't, but thank you for your concern."

She had made no move to be affectionate, or kiss him, so he knew that she was trying to protect herself even against him.

"Can you please contact Helen Thermopolis today, Joseph? I don't think I have the time or strength to make any phone calls…."

"I will, Your Majesty."

He understood her withdrawal and coolness after yesterday, she was only trying to prepare herself for the funeral, but he only hoped that this coolness wasn't going to be at her expense, emotionally and physically.

Two hours later, His Royal Highness Prince Pierre Renaldi, not yet ordained, walked through the main door of the palace. Clarisse was still in parliament so Joseph, as the head of security, was meeting him. He was very blond, like his mother, but more like his father in character and disposition- sharp, curious, intelligent, cold and somewhat ill tempered, but he had also inherited a streak of compassion from his mother.

"How is she?" was the first thing he asked when Joseph met him, and they walked together, side by side.

"Coping reasonably well, but the shock may really hit her at any time."

"Who told her the news?"

"I did." For a moment Joseph was afraid- what if he was like his father, and became jealous of anyone who paid attention to his mother, particularly after their last scene together.

But, to his surprise, Pierre turned to him with a warm smile.

"I'm so glad it was you. Mother trusts and feels most comfortable with you," before he changed the subject to the funeral. "Have any details been set yet?"

"I think Her Majesty wishes to discuss that with you," Joseph said briefly, standing beside the front door of Pierre's former suite. "I will let Her Majesty know that you have arrived."

"Thank you, Joseph. And…" he paused for a moment. "Thank you for being there last night for Mother. I know she needs someone, and that's obviously you!"

But there was no anger or disapproval in his voice- unlike just before he left for Rome- in fact, there was compassion, understanding…and approval. Joseph nodded, and turned to leave before Pierre stopped him again.

"Joe, I'm sorry for what I said to you and Mother before I left two years ago. I was very wrong and judgemental in what I said….I have thought about it a lot since I left, and I've come to realise that you are the best thing that has happened to Mother in a long time- even before Father died, and it would be selfish not wanting her to be happy. I'm sorry, and I hope you can forgive me."

Joseph felt a sense of relief as he walked towards the room where parliament was in session. In a matter of days, he had had the approval of both Clarisse's boys.

He stood patiently outside parliament, and had arrived just in time as the doors flew open and Clarisse walked out, clad in black, and looking furious.

"Your Majesty, His Royal Highness is here," he said in an undertone as she paused next to him for a moment. She was so angry at everyone; she just needed a moment next to the one person who had always understood her.

"Thank you Joseph. I will go and see him now. There's no need to come with me, Charlotte-meet me in my suite in half an hour," she said coolly, and walked down the hall towards Pierre's suite. Joseph stood next to Charlotte for a moment.

"How was parliament?" Charlotte shrugged

"Not good. She practically shouted at three men when they tried to ask for details on the accident, so Sebastian intervened and cancelled the rest of parliament before she really lost it. I think we're in for a rough week, Joe," she said before she went in the opposite direction to Clarisse, and Joe.

For a moment, before the doors opened, Clarisse thought and hoped that it was all a bad dream, and Phillipe would be standing, smiling, in front of her, but as soon as she saw Pierre standing there, she knew it was true. He smiled a little stiffly, sensing her disappointment, before she threw herself into his arms, grateful that she at least had one son. However, unlike Joseph, Pierre didn't know how to respond to her pain, except to pat her awkwardly on the back, so she tried to stop crying, and then looked up at her eldest son.

"How's Rome? What are you doing now?" she asked, trying to sound interested, but she honestly didn't have the heart to, and he seemed to understand that.

"Nothing much, but I can tell you what little I have been doing later. How much preparation for the funeral has occurred?"

Clarisse shrugged- she wanted desperately to be in control, but it was beyond her at the moment, despite all the training she had. She would never have thought that a death would have unglued her so badly, but it was Phillipe, her favourite, after all….If only she had Joseph with her, perhaps the illusion would be easier to maintain, but she knew how Pierre felt about him, so she was feeling alone and vulnerable.

"I'm meeting with Charlotte and Prime Minister in a little while, you're very welcome to join us….Would you be able to say a few words about him?"

She knew that they hadn't seen eye to eye on a number of occasions- including a time that included her and Joseph- but she hoped that Pierre would have lightened up since then.

"I would be honoured, Mother. Are you going to say anything yourself?"

"I hadn't really thought about it," she said vaguely, but she had to admit that having a few words from his own mother might be fitting- not exactly according to protocol, but everyone knew how close they had been. "I'll have to think about it," she added, looking at Pierre again.

He was still very much the same physically as when he had left, although there was peace in his eyes, rather than the anger and rage that had erupted on that fateful afternoon when he had left. He had a few heated words with his father, but he had let forth some of the venom on his mother, which had left Clarisse stunned and horribly hurt, particularly with what he had said about Joseph……

"_Have you slept with him, Mother? We all know how much you care about him…or are you waiting until Father's gone?" Pierre sneered, pacing in front of the fire, as Clarisse stood calmly in front of him. Rupert was close to death, and still hadn't accepted Pierre's abdication the previous summer. _

_However, since Pierre couldn't take all his anger out on his father, he turned to the next person in the firing line- his mother._

"_How can you say things like that, Pierre? I have loved your father for many years! Are you insinuating that I can't wait until my husband dies before I find a new man? I will never find a new man!" she declared, trying to hide the fact that Pierre had hurt her very deeply, and that he was right._

_She cared about Joseph more than she cared to admit, and she didn't want anyone impugning his spotless reputation- he had been a faithful bodyguard for many hears, and she had grown to depend on his strength and his kind, caring, intelligent nature. No one, not even Rupert or Pierre, much as they tried, could take that friendship away from her. _

_But she was horrified at the anger and venom that Pierre was letting out. Phillipe, who was lounging in a chair next to the fire, was staring at his older brother with open hostility._

"_How can you say that about your own mother?" he burst out, and stood up quickly as Clarisse tried to intervene between the two of them. She didn't need another fight between them, not at a time like this. _

"_Who cares who she likes and dislikes? Father is dying, and you can't expect a beautiful woman like her to be a widow for the rest of her life! We both know that the man in question is a good, honest and decent man, who adores her, and you're annoyed that he isn't of noble blood! And you're the one who's going to be a priest!" _

_Phillipe ended his speech with a disgusted snort, and sat back down again. Pierre's dark brown eyes glittered dangerously._

"_I wouldn't be so high and mighty, Phillipe! I remember that you married someone Father didn't approve of, and then the marriage fell apart! You don't even see your daughter!"_

_At these words, Phillipe saw red- his ex-wife and daughter were still very precious to him and Pierre had had no right to cruelly tease him about them._

"_How dare you!" he shouted, standing up and striding towards his brother, who started to back away. Clarisse stood between them, trying to prevent Phillipe from striking his brother. _

_As if by a miracle, Joseph came in, surveyed the scene, and strode toward the two angry men._

"_That's enough! You both should be ashamed of yourselves, acting this way when the King is dying!" Joseph said calmly, separating the two men and gently pushing Clarisse aside. Phillipe, now looking ashamed, turned to Clarisse._

"_I'm sorry Mama," he said reticently, and then sat down again, glaring at Pierre, Pierre, on the other hand, wasn't sorry, and was glaring at Joseph with what was almost blind hatred._

"_You always seem to butt in when you're not wanted, don't you Mr Bonnell? I know that you and my mother might think that you can keep your affair quiet, but I've seen the looks you exchange, and it makes me sick!"_

_Joseph looked over at Clarisse for a moment, who looked as though she had been slapped, and, although he had been trying to stay calm for her sake, Joseph was instantly full of rage. __Pierre may have been a Prince, but when he was insulting his very own mother, someone whom Joseph cared about very deeply, Joseph was ready to hit him himself._

"_Your Royal Highness," Joseph began in a low, quiet voice, a dangerous sign. "You don't know what you are talking about. Her Majesty and I have never had an affair- we are only friends."_

"_Friends!" Pierre snorted in disgust. "But I bet you both want it to be more, and I suppose you'll have the chance once Father's gone. Maybe, Joe," he spat the last word out derisively. _

_"You want to become King yourself!"_

_Clarisse, until that moment had been watching the scene in growing horror, finally snapped._

"_THAT'S ENOUGH, Pierre! What a way to behave when your father is dying only a few rooms away! I will not tolerate you standing there and insulting a very loyal bodyguard, and my dear friend, and your brother and niece! I thought you were supposed to be open minding and caring! Obviously I was wrong!" _

_She stopped, suddenly out of breath, and didn't look to gauge the reactions of the three men as she walked towards the door and left, slamming the door behind her. She would have been surprised to see each reaction._

_Phillipe was trying to hide a smile- he knew that she had had spirit in her, but this argument had been the catalyst for all the anger and grief she had been trying to suppress for the past year. _

_Joseph looked after in stunned silence- he too had also known that he had been bottling up a lot of emotion, and he was very proud of her, but he'd leave her alone to cool down, He had been foolish enough in the past to follow her when she had lost her temper, and had received another tongue lashing. _

_Pierre, on the other hand, was a little ashamed, but felt he couldn't back down in front of these two men who knew his mother better, and whom she preferred. He didn't want to admit it, but he was jealous._

"_I'll be staying at the Winter Palace until the time comes," he said stiffly. "I will be in my suite and leaving this afternoon," and he left the room but, unlike his mother, didn't slam the door._

Clarisse shook her head, upset that she had remembered that terrible scene on such a terrible occasion. She walked slowly to the door, but Pierre's voice stopped her.

"Mother…I just wanted to apologise for the way I behaved before I left. I was trerribly judgemental and selfish. I guess I was angry that my father was dying."

Clarisse turned to look at him, and was touched to see him looking at her sheepishly.

"I had no right to take it out on you, Joseph or Phillipe- and I didn't mean what I said….Actually," he began shyly, walking towards her. "After a lot of reflection, I think that Joseph makes you happy, and that's the only thing that matters. I'm sorry- I was jealous of how they were so close to you, and we never really got along."

"Pierre, you're always going to be my son, and I love you so much. The reason why we were never close was that you always seemed to prefer your father- and I'm sorry, too, if Phillipe and I ever left you out." Clarisse looked at him for a moment, and found that she had forgiven him a long time ago. She walked over to him, and gave him a long hug. "Don't ever forget that."

Back at the suite, she dismissed Joseph- he had something he had to- and sat down with Charlotte, Sebastian and Pierre to discuss funeral arrangements. She was determined that she wouldn't collapse again. Meanwhile, Joseph was looking for a phone number in the computer- although they had divorced, Phillipe had insisted that Helen and Amelia's details be kept on file for security- maybe, one day, his daughter would become Queen.

"Shades, have you found that number for me?" he asked the younger guard sitting at the computer beside him. The way he calculated it, it was early evening and he wanted to get the news through before they went to bed. Joseph himself barely understood computer technology and, luckily, rarely had to use it, but Clarisse had suggested that he one day take a course.

"Here you go," Shades handed him a piece of paper with the name, address and telephone number on it. "Details haven't changed in fifteen years."

"They may change now," Joe muttered under his breath- he didn't know if Clarisse had realised it, but this young girl was now first in line to the throne.

After a moment's hesitation, he took a deep breath and punched in the number, after getting an international line.

"Hello?" Someone on the other end picked up, and for a moment Joseph was stunned and couldn't speak. "Hello?" the voice repeated.

"Hello, is this Ms Helen Thermopolis?"

"No, this is her daughter Mia. But she's right here, I'll get her for you…"

There was a slight pause as the phone was passed from daughter to mother, and it gave Joseph a chance to come to his senses. She sounded so much like Clarisse, with an American accent, that it had taken his breath away.

"Hello?" This time it was an older woman's voice, and Joe remembered the happy young woman who had come to Genovia as a bride, and left as a desperately homesick mother. He wondered if she had changed much.

"Ms Thermpolis?"

"Yes?"

"This is Joseph Bonnell, Her Majesty's Head of Security, in Genovia."

"Oh yes, Joseph. How nice to talk to you," but Helen sounded wary now. 'What can I do for you?"

"Her Majesty wanted me to call you. I have some dreadful news for you- His Royal Highness Prince Phillipe was killed in a car accident yesterday afternoon"

There was a long silence on the other end as Helen tried to absorb the news that the laughing, dashing, handsome Prince who had loved her, and given her a daughter, was gone.

"How is Her Majesty?" Even she had noticed how close mother and son had been.

"Not too well, which is why I'm calling you instead. Will you tell Amelia?"

"Yes I will. But not the other thing- she still has no idea about that, and I would like it to stay that way."

Helen sounded defiant, and Joseph could only sigh. Keeping that secret was no longer possible, but he would leave Clarisse to deal with.

"Is there anyway you could come to Genovia for the funeral? Her Majesty can meet her granddaughter at the same time."

"I don't think so, Joseph; You see, Mia's in the middle of tenth grade, and she's already having a hard enough time coping with that…and she didn't know her father that well. But I will tell her as soon as I get off the phone. Please pass my sympathies onto Her Majesty," she added softly, remembering the good times she had spent with Phillipe.

"I will. Thank you."

He gave a great sigh as he got off the phone, and Shades looked over at him.

"How did it go?"

"I think she was shocked, but she's not too keen on Amelia knowing that he was a prince, and that she's now Crown Princess." Shades let out a low whistle.

"How's that going to go down?"

"I don't know, but Her Majesty is going to have to speak to Helen herself." He glanced at his watch. "I'd better get back and tell her- I think she was a little concerned how it would go."

Clarisse looked at Charlotte, Prime Minister Motez and Pierre, momentarily glad that everything was arranged for Thursday, two days away. It had been a long meeting, and she was relieved when she saw Joseph slip through the door.

"I think that will be all for now," she said, standing up and the others following suit. "If you can show me a rough draft of the service later on, Charlotte, I would appreciate it. Now, if you will all excuse me, I think I'm going to lie down for a while." Joseph stood aside as the others left, and she watched him for a moment, before disappearing into the bedroom.

"How did it go?" she called out, and he took it as a hint that she wanted him to follow her. In the bedroom, she slipped off her shoes, and lay down on the bed in the darkened room.

"I told Helen, and she was going to tell Mia. For a moment, when Amelia answered the phone, I thought she was you," he said as she waved him to sit down in the chair on her side of the bed.

"Really? You actually spoke to her?"

"Not for long- and then Helen got on the line."

"And…?"

"She doesn't want Amelia to know the truth about Phillipe and herself, You are the one who's going to have to talk to Helen, and perhaps even tell the girl yourself."

Clarisse sighed heavily, and turned over on her side to face him.

"I am going to have to do that. I guess you've realised what this means for Amelia? She is now the Crown Princess, and first in line to the throne."

"I realised that."

There was a silence as they both knew that there was another issue that they had to discuss, but neither of them wanted to talk about that yet.

"Are they coming to the funeral?"

"I'm sorry, Clarisse. Helen didn't think it was a good idea to disrupt Amelia's schedule."

"Well maybe its better that I have a little time to prepare….did I hear you call her Mia before?"

"That's what her mother called her."

"That's what Phillipe used to call her too," Clarisse said softly, but she didn't cry as she looked at the ceiling for a minute, and then she turned back to him with a small smile.

"I shouted at three parliamentarians today." Joseph smiled and took the hand she offered.

"So I heard. Tell me all about it…."


	6. The Funeral and the decision

_Hi everyone- sorry I've been a little lax in updating, but I've been away. This is one of my favourite chapters, and I hope you enjoy it!_

_DISCLAIMER: The Characters of the Princess Diaries belong to Disney – the storyline is my ideas._

The next two days went all too fast for Clarisse, and all too soon she was waking up the morning of the funeral. For a moment, she was completely at peace, and then she remembered what the day was all about. Today, she was going to say goodbye to her adored youngest son, she thought as a tear slipped down her cheek.

It was also the day when she had to talk to Joseph- their plans had changed somewhat since the accident, and although she knew he was going to understand, she was terribly disappointed.

She glanced over at him- he again had stayed the night with her, and she knew she would never be able to repay him for the constant support that he had given her. He had been at her side almost the entire two days, and had even read through the press release Charlotte had composed.

Pierre's arrival had also received much coverage, but he was more interested in staying in the palace grounds than meeting the people that had made his life difficult when he made his decision, and some of them were still very bitter. He too had been a wonderful support to Clarisse over the past few days, but it was always Joseph she felt safest with.

She carefully slipped out of bed, not wanting to disturb him, and disappeared out into her living room with her silk dressing gown. She needed some time to reflect, and plan her next move for after the funeral.

It was now impossible for her to step down from the throne- her granddaughter was only 15, and had no idea that she was a princess. Legally, Amelia would be unable to take over until she was 21, and that wasn't before a lot of instruction and a college education.

Clarisse couldn't blame Helen for not wanting to tell Amelia about her royal inheritance (a mother's instinct was always to protect her child) but it was also unfeasible to continue ignoring the fact that her daughter was royal, and would one day become Queen.

She was planning a trip to San Francisco to meet Amelia, but it unfortunately would not be for at least two months….

She sat down at her desk, and looked at the piece of paper she had written the previous evening- although it was against protocol for a monarch to show any emotion (even on paper) towards personal matters, this was different. Everyone knew how close Clarisse had been to Phillipe, and Pierre, Joseph, Charlotte and Sebastian had all encouraged her to write a few words in tribute. It had been difficult, and had taken several hours, but she had finally several credible paragraphs. Her eyes wandered through the words, briefly pausing on one paragraph in particular:

_"As Queen, I could sometimes despair of Prince Phillipe, and all the scrapes he got in throughout his life- including the time he fell in the fountain in the main street of Pyrus- and wonder what he was going to do next. But I always knew, whatever he did, he was going to do Genovia proud. But, as a mother, Phillipe surpassed my highest expectations, with his kindness, compassion, laughter, intelligence and generally happy go lucky nature. I will miss all of these attributes, and more…."_

She heard a noise from the bedroom, and glanced up to see Joseph, clothes rumpled, standing in the doorway, looking sleepy.

"I didn't hear you get out of bed," he said as he walked slowly towards her, and she smiled at him- the first real smile she had shown in the past few days.

"I was quiet because I know you needed the sleep. I'm usually not such a restless sleeper," she gently teased, and he laughed, and looked curiously at the paper in her hand.

"What are you doing with that?" Clarisse put the paper down, and folded her hands over it protectively. She wasn't even going to show him.

"Just something that Pierre is going to read for me this morning during the service. You will have to wait until then to hear it…"

There was a slight pause, before Joseph cleared his throat.

"If you don't need me anymore, Clarisse, I'd better go and have a shower, and see about security for today."

"Yes, you had better," she smiled, but didn't make any move to kiss him, much as she wanted to. This decision had been the hardest she had ever made, but she was sure that things would change in the future…..

Three hours later it was a different woman who stepped out her suite door, and allowed Joseph to kiss her dark gloved hand. She was clad in black, including a hat, and he recognised the mask of indifference with a tinge of compassion that she wore when she had to do something difficult. This was no different, and the mask was more to protect her today. She smiled briefly into his eyes, and then walked on beside her son, while Joseph and Charlotte followed behind.

She pretended to be absorbed as the car passed thousands of mourners, all out in force to mourn a popular prince. She didn't dare look up until she got to the church, and greeted some the guests woodenly at Sebastian Motez's side, before Pierre escorted her up to the front pew.

She desperately wanted this to be over- and wanted to scream again when she saw the Genovian flag draped coffin, with her favourite picture of him on top, and some of the roses he loved so much. Charlotte had done a good job, Clarisse thought to herself as she sat down, and reached blindly for Pierre's hand as the Archbishop began to speak. She just wanted to hold onto someone- and, from afar, Joseph could tell she was already struggling.

Clarisse just stared straight ahead, unable to believe this was happening, and not caring whether people were saying she looked icy and uncaring. Joe heard a mutter or two, and was hard pressed not to find them and hit them, but Shades gently pressed his shoulder and he tried to keep cool. The only time she looked towards the pulpit was when Pierre spoke.

"My mother wanted me to say a few words about my little brother, and although I tried to think of something to say, I found that my mother's words much better describe Phillipe, and it was her wish that I read this out to you all today….

"_Today we are here to mourn the passing of a future King, a popular and handsome Prince and a gentleman. But I am here to say goodbye to a son I have loved deeply for 36 years, and never imagined that I would have to say goodbye to at all._

_He was a beautiful man, inside and out, and it was my privilege to have him as my son. He loved Genovia with all his heart, and was fully prepared to become your next King. Many of you might never have met him, but Phillipe had an affect on every person he met, and I had so many people saying how lucky Genovia was to have as compassionate and kind prince as Phillipe._

_As a Queen, I could sometimes despair of His Royal Highness and all the scrapes he got in throughout his life- including the time he fell into the waterfall in the main street of Genovia during a parade- and wonder what he was going to do next. But, as a mother, Phillipe lived up to my highest expectations, and soared above them, with his kindness, compassion, laughter, intelligence and generally happy go lucky nature. I will miss all those attributes, and more._

_I was privileged to know him extremely well for the past 36 years, and it is not only a loss for myself, my granddaughter and son, but for the entire country of Genovia."_

By the end, even Pierre was choking up from tears, and Clarisse could hear people behind her sniffing, or blowing their noses, but she remained in her own little world, smiling briefly as Pierre sat down again, and took her hand.

At the back of the church, Joseph was staring straight ahead, but Shades could see there were tears in his eyes too. Although it had only been a few paragraphs, Clarisse had made her point better than anyone else could have. Clarisse coped reasonably well for the rest of the service, but when the coffin was carried out by his loyal bodyguards, she almost collapsed but for the fact that Pierre was by her side and holding her hand tightly she didn't. Pierre was very proud of the way she had handled herself that morning but even he could tell now that she was beginning to collapse from the strain.

She walked back down the aisle, not looking at anyone, and was relieved when Pierre helped her into the car, successfully avoiding all photographers.

"I'll meet you back at the palace." Pierre watched her for a moment, and then she nodded as he closed the door. Joseph was sitting in the front seat, and he turned to look at her for a moment.

"Are you alright?" The compassion in his voice almost sent tears running again.

"Yes, thank you Joseph" she said calmly, and then pressed the button to shut the part between them- she needed to be alone right now, to compose herself for the coming afternoon of mourners telling her how sorry they were.

Thankfully, the afternoon wake seemed to fly by in moments, and Clarisse was relieved to find herself back in her suite, ready for a good lie down. She needed some time to compose herself for the second most difficult task of the day- telling Joseph that she couldn't marry him, indefinitely.

She knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but with Amelia still an unknown quantity- whether or not she would accept being royal- she couldn't count on anything to be definite. If Amelia didn't want to be a princess….and Clarisse sincerely hoped she wanted to….Clarisse knew that she would be on the throne indefinitely. That was why it was so crucial that this planned visit to San Francisco went smoothly….

She must have fallen asleep, because when she awoke it was dark outside, and her maids were unobtrusively trying to turn on some lights.

"How long have I been asleep?" she asked, sitting up and trying to act awake for the maids.

"About several hours, Your Majesty," Olivia said. "His Royal Highness, Charlotte and Joe all called in to see you, but said to let you sleep."

"Thank you, I appreciated that. Is there anything pressing they wanted to see me about?"

"No, Your Majesty."

Clarisse looked down at herself- she was still in her black clothes from the funeral. She needed to change her clothes, and go for a walk in the garden for a while.

She changed, and walked outside, hoping that Joseph wasn't around. She walked quickly out to the garden, and noticed that it was heavily overcast, and that rain wasn't too far away, she surmised, smelling rain in the air.

She wandered around the garden for a little while, stopping to look at her flowers, and felt happier than she had been in the past few days, Her garden always had been a sanctuary for her.

She felt someone tap her on her shoulder, and she spun around, to find Joseph looking at her angrily.

"Why on earth did you leave the palace like that? We were looking all over for you?" he was shouting at her out of relief and anger.

With the mood she had been in most of the afternoon, he was afraid that she was going to do something silly.

She pulled away, and frowned.

"Why are you shouting at me? My guards saw where I was going, and I'm sure that there's at least one camera in the building that saw where I went to!"

Joseph calmed down, a little ashamed that he was yelling at the woman he loved, a mother who had just buried her son, and the Queen of Genovia.

"I'm sorry, Clarisse. I was just so worried…."

"I know you were," she gently touched his face with her hand, an old familiar gesture. "And I love you for it- you alone knew how hard today was, although Charlotte and Pierre had a good idea….."

She paused for a moment, trying to find the words. "You know what I'm going to say, don't you?"

There was such a special connection between them that somehow words seemed superfluous at this time.

"Yes, and you know that I understand, and you can always depend on me for anything. I'm never going to leave you," he said, as he felt several raindrops hit his shoulders.

"Don't you think we should go in?"

"No," Clarisse smiled at him- the first genuine smile he had seen in days. "I just want to stay out here in the rain…..with you," she added with a shy smile as she walked over and put her arms around his neck, looking deeply into his eyes.

"I will always love you too, and I'm sorry about this…" He stopped her with a kiss.

"You don't have to be sorry about anything…..You know that you will always have me…."


	7. The Letter and the Carousel

_Thanks to everyone for their reviews- this is only a short chapter because I'm trying to make the final chapter really good!_

_DISCLAIMER: The characters and the Princess Diaries don't belong to me, they belong to Disney and Meg Cabot. The only thing that's mine is the storyline._

It was nearly a month before Clarisse could bear to go anywhere near Phillipe's suite- although mainly due to time constraints, she also needed the time to heal emotionally. It had been a difficult three and a half weeks since the funeral, but Clarisse had managed to successfully bury herself in work to avoid all the emotions she had locked up inside.

The newspaper and television coverage of the funeral, and most particularly her reaction, had convinced her to keep her emotions in check. Although most of the press said the funeral was 'lovely' and 'Her Majesty had prepared a wonderful speech', they had also been critical of her lack of emotion- or tears.

"Has Her Majesty turned into a block of ice, or did she really care about His Royal Highness?" Elsie Kentworthy had chirped on her morning show and Charlotte, who had been present when Clarisse watched the show, had been worried about her sovereign's reaction.

"I knew they would say something like that," was all Clarisse said, before turning off the television.

Pierre had left two days after that, and although their relationship was relatively close again, he made a comment to Joe that left him concerned.

"She seems to be trying to forget Phillipe."

Both Joseph and Charlotte were extremely worried about her, but there was no getting through to the Queen- both of them tried on several occasions, but had only received a polite response and, in Joe's case, a very icy look.

"I don't know what to do, Joe," Charlotte said softly as they had one of their many conferences while Clarisse was busy elsewhere.

"She's obviously pushed you away, and she doesn't discuss anything with me….what about Pierre?"

"No luck- he tried to talk to her before he left, but she shut him down too," Joe replied softly, remembering the evening of the funeral in the rain. She had been so warm, tender and vulnerable- it had made him love her even more- but, by the next day, she had closed her heart to him, and it was business as usual.

They were still friends, and chatted casually, but Clarisse refused to discuss that night, or any of the time they had spent together- most especially the marriage proposal in the garden.

"I don't want her to have a breakdown- she's supposed to be flying to San Francisco in July to meet the princess, and I know she's worried about that, but…."

"Her Majesty is much stronger than you give her credit for, Charlotte. But all we can do is be there for her and, when she wants to, she will come to one of us."

"Most likely you," Charlotte teased with a shy smiled, and then sobered. "But you're right- being there for her is all we can do…." She trailed off, and they looked at each other pensively, not realising that Clarisse, in the next room, had heard every word.

She gave them another minute to themselves, and then strode into the room, pretending that she hadn't heard a word of their conversation. But she wasn't angry- in fact, she was extremely touched that they were concerned about her.

"Joseph, I would like to go and begin clearing out Phillipe's room, " she said, briskly walking out of her suite, Charlotte and Joe hot on her heels, and head down the hall towards his suite.

"I've had the housekeeper take several boxes in there, and I need you to lift them for me."

"Yes, Your Majesty," he said dutifully, giving Charlotte a quick smile, and then followed his Queen.

The suite had been shut up for over three weeks, but Clarisse had instructed her maids the previous day to open the curtains and windows for several days to get rid of the musty smell. She was planning on converting it into a guest suite, for when guests came and the Winter Palace was full.

"Have you already been in here, Your Majesty?" Joseph asked from behind her, and she turned to see him standing beside several packed boxes.

"Yes," she said indifferently, hiding the pain she had felt when she had come in yesterday, for the first time.

The grief and pain had hit her solar plexus hard, but she had managed to overcome her feelings, and begin the difficult task of packing up Phillipe's room. She had had arranged to have the afternoon to do it, and she did it alone- she didn't want anyone in there, and Joe was only in there to take boxes down to the storage room. The clothes were already packed- and it had broken her heart to do it- and now all she had to do was go through his desk.

"Are these going down into storage?" he asked, lifting a box, after it was clear that she wasn't going to explain any further.

"Yes," she said softly as she headed towards Phillipe's desk, and barely heard Joseph leave the room.

There was a large white box sitting prominently on the desk, and she opened it curiously to find….the carousel he had bought the previous month, for his daughter, and had been planning to show Clarisse the day after the accident.

It was rather heavy, as she lifted it out of the box, and turned the handle to hear a pretty classical tune. As it played, she glanced in the box again, and found a red, leather bound and locked diary, and two envelopes- on addressed 'Amelia' and the other 'Mother'.

She put down the diary and the other envelope, and opened the letter addressed to her, gasping when she saw the date- it was the day of the accident.

"_My dearest Mother,_

_I just had to jot this down after the conversation we had, although it will make me late for the lake, but I just wanted to say how enormously proud I have been of you, and always will be. I know I'm not the most organised person in the world, but this was something I have wanted to write for a long time._

_Since Father's death, you have really held everything together incredibly well- you have ruled Genovia with grace, style, compassion and intelligence, and I know I'm going to have a hard job filling those shoes! You have given so much to the country, to Father and to us, your sons, and now it's time for you to think about yourself. I want you to know that it is okay to love another person- and I want you to. Father wasn't the easiest person to live with, but I know that even he would want you to find happiness. _

_It wouldn't be fair for one of the most beautiful women I know, inside and out, to be alone when she still has so much love to give. You may think that people see you as cold and formidable, but I see that there's so much more to you than they give you credit for._

_Don't worry about Pierre- he will soon come around to the idea. You may feel an obligation to us, the memory of Father and Genovia, but once you step out of the spotlight, it is time that you find your own life, and love. Yes, I've guessed your secret- you've always loved Joseph, and he loves you too. _

_Don't worry- if there was one person I would trust with you, it would be Joseph Bonnell. He is a loyal, compassionate, clever man who adores you, and I know, deep down, you feel the same way about him. You two may have tried to keep your feelings a secret, but all you have to do is see the looks you exchange! Go for it- and I will be front row and centre at your wedding. _

_I also hope that, when I am King, Amelia and her mother will visit Genovia, and my daughter will begin to learn her royal heritage. In the few emails and telephone conversations I've had with her, and Helen, I think she is more like you than even I realised. I hope that you two will develop a deep relationship and that you will learn a lot from each other. I have written a letter to her, as you will have found, and the diary that I'm planning on given her for her sixteenth birthday, when I fly to San Francisco. That's when Helen and I are going to tell her the truth, and I hope that it will turn out right._

_I love you, Mama. I always will._

_Your Loving Son Phillipe"_

At the end of the letter, there were tears spilling forth onto Clarisse's cheeks- she had never realised how deeply intuitive and compassionate her son was- and that all he had ever wanted for her was her own happiness.

Then, she remembered that he was going to be the first person she told about herself and Joseph, before the news. As she looked over his handwritten letter again, grief and pain overwhelmed her again, and she didn't realise that Joseph was holding her in his arms again as she wept. She handed him the letter

"He was an extraordinary man, Clarisse, and he loved you very much."

"And I him," she sniffled, before pulling away, and wiping her eyes with her handkerchief before changing the subject. "Are all those boxes down in storage?"

"Yes- did you want me to take those to your suite?" he indicated the carousel, and the papers lying around it.

She nodded, and turned away to try and compose herself again, before the idea dawned on her. Phillipe may have been gone, but he had left behind a daughter that needed more than her own mother, and needed to know the truth about her family. It was time to meet Amelia.

"Joseph," she spun around, and looked at him as he stopped in the middle of the room. "When you take those to my suite, can you find Charlotte and bring her to me?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. Why?"

"I think it's time that we made that trip to San Francisco to meet Amelia- and as soon as possible.' she said firmly, a determined look in her eye.


	8. One Day

_Here is the final chapter- I've actually poured a lot into this story and I think it has to be my favourite (at the moment)! _

_Just one thing- I've tried to avoid putting much of the first film in here, as I'm trying to write about scenes that weren't in the film, so I've just summarised much of the movie, except where some lines have to be in there! _

_I hope you enjoy this chapter- and the story- and thank you to everyone for their reviews!_

PRESENT

Clarisse found herself kneeling down in front of the grave, almost overwhelmingly exhausted by the emotions she had felt after reliving the most difficult weeks in her life.

There had been times when she thought she wouldn't have made it, but Joseph's love, and Charlotte's support had helped her through- and once she met Mia, it had made her realise that life was still worth living.

Although Phillipe was gone, he continued living on through his daughter, and Clarisse was grateful for that. She had been to the edge of the precipice, but the love and concern of those three people, as well as Pierre, had given her the strength to move on.

Of course, she would always miss Phillipe, with all her heart, but there was still much to do…particularly with Mia. She smiled for a moment, remembering the lead up to the meeting with Amelia, and how nervous she had been……..

After her surprise announcement to Joseph, things had progressed rather quickly. Neither Helen nor Mia knew that she was planning on coming and, as it turned out, a reason was quickly discovered as to why the Queen was visiting the United States- Genovian business. But she was determined that the press didn't know what the main reason for her visit was- to see Amelia.

"Have I made the right decision to go and see her?" she asked Joseph anxiously the evening before they left. As usual, Joseph was accompanying her and she was relieved to have him around- she didn't know what this young girl was going to be like, despite Phillipe's reassurances that she was very similar to Clarisse herself.

"The princess needs to know, Clarisse, and it's better not to leave it until the press discovers her," he replied, careful not to go across the invisible barrier between them.

He longed to pull her into his arms, as he had been doing in the week after Phillipe's death, but she hadn't invited it- although she was looking at him warmly again.

"I know," Clarisse sighed, pushing aside the papers she was trying to peruse. "But what if Amelia doesn't want to be a princess, or have anything to do with me? What if Helen has managed to poison her against me?"

She was especially nervous about that- she and Helen hadn't particularly got on when she had married Phillipe, and maybe Helen still remembered it.

However, Joseph had to laugh at that- although Clarisse's concerns were very real, sometimes the Queen's imagination went into overdrive.

"Your Majesty, if you remember, Helen was a very decent young woman, and she sounded exactly the same when I spoke to her on the phone. She wouldn't try and turn Amelia against you, not if she did love Phillipe. She knew that the two of you were very close."

"But what if…" The other worry was weighing her down- if Amelia refused to take her rightful place, then Clarisse could expect to remain on the throne for an indefinite period of time, and she didn't want that, not anymore.

"There isn't any point worrying about that now. You will just have to wait and see what she does…However, if what Phillipe says about her is true, I don't think you will have anything to worry about."

Despite Joseph's comforting words, Clarisse stayed awake for much of the flight, continually thinking about her granddaughter's reaction- her only granddaughter, she realised sharply.

They landed in San Francisco early Monday morning, and went straight to the Genovian consulate where Clarisse opened one of her ever present boxes and began dealing with Genovian affairs. She may be away from Genovia for a couple of weeks, but there was always business to be dealt with. She could almost imagine Phillipe's horrified expression, particularly when she had had so little sleep, and she was smiling at the thought as she dove into work.

They were planning on having the state dinner at the consulate in two weeks, and she was hoping that she would be able to introduce Amelia to the Prime Minister and some of the members of parliament. The Von Trokans would be there, unfortunately, she groaned to herself- that was the other part of her worry. If Amelia didn't accept her role, the Von Trokans could possibly take the throne.

By 3:30 the next day, she was pacing her suite and ready to explode as she waited for Amelia to arrive. She had wanted to meet her the day before, to get it over and done with, but she had had to work, as Helen explained in a slightly awkward telephone conversation the day before.

"You're here…in San Francisco?" Helen had sounded surprised to hear the voice of her former mother in law on the line, but remained pleasant. "When did you arrive?"

"Very early this morning. Helen….I know Joseph rang you to tell you….."

"Yes, and I'm very sorry Your Majesty." Helen's voice went quiet at the mention of Phillipe, and as the two women thought about the very different memories they had of him. "Mia was very upset at the news, but she hadn't known him that well….," she trailed off.

"It was his wish that Amelia and I meet, although not under such sad circumstances, and as I was already in San Francisco, I thought that it would be a perfect time to do that."

Even though she didn't sound it on the phone, Clarisse was very nervous, and she took a deep breath before continuing, after a slight pause.

"Helen…I'm going to have to tell her the truth. I know we all agreed that we would wait until she was eighteen, but things have changed…"

"I understand. Do you want me to be there, you know, as support for her?"

"Thank you, but no. I think I need to tell her this alone- it will be hard enough to explain why I haven't been in contact for the last fifteen years, and it won't be easy when she finds out that you've known everything."

"I know," Helen said sounding slightly worried. "Oh…no, she can't come this afternoon, she's working. I'm sorry, but would tomorrow be alright. She can come straight after school."

"Yes, that would be fine….and, thank you, Helen."

So now she was waiting for her long lost granddaughter, and feeling as nervous as when she was a school girl, which was ridiculous, she told herself as she paced the room for the twentieth time. Charlotte was downstairs, preparing the afternoon tea, and Joseph was around somewhere.

Just as she was beginning another trip across the room, she heard voices downstairs, and knew she had to go. She almost collided with Joseph as she walked out of her room, and towards the stairs, and he squeezed her hand reassuringly, knowing that she was very nervous. She gave him a small smile in reply, and began the descent down the stairs, listening to the conversation between Amelia and Charlotte….something about the pears in the flowers.

"…_she'll be with you in a moment,"_ she heard Charlotte say, and Clarisse found herself replying _"There's no need, I'm here….Amelia, I'm so glad you could come."_

The first time she set eyes on Amelia, she almost burst into tears- she was so much like her father physically, with the busy brown hair, big brown eyes (hidden beneath glasses and heavy eyebrows), and his well shaped ears, that it was a slight shock.

Thankfully, Clarisse hid it so well that even Charlotte didn't know, and invited the teenager to sit down.

Although she didn't want to be judgemental, as she watched Amelia carefully, she knew that the young princess needed instruction, and a mini makeover. The only question would be whether the young princess would agree to it.

All seemed to go well until Clarisse tried to break the news gently, and Amelia sat there for a moment, looking stunned, until….

"_Shut up!"_ came out, and Clarisse almost choked on her tea at the expression. What strange slang modern teenage girls had, she thought wryly to herself before trying to amend the situation.

Unfortunately, nothing she said calmed the girl down and, before Clarisse knew it, Mia had run off as Joseph emerged from the bushes where he had been observing the scene.

"_That went well, didn't it?" _Clarisse said sarcastically as they went back inside. She hadn't planned on this happening- and it didn't bode well for the rest of the time she was in America.

You have to give her a chance to get used to the news, Clarisse. She's still very young, and just imagine how it must have felt to have that news sprung on her…."

"Yes, poor girl," Clarisse said sympathetically, remembering when Mia had said that her only purpose in life was to be invisible. This was going to be very, very difficult indeed.

Despite the inauspicious start, Amelia grudgingly accepted the 'princess lessons' and getting to know Clarisse, while remaining non committal about her final decision. Clarisse herself was hoping that Phillipe's wish would come true- after all, Amelia (and Pierre, far away) were all she had left.

Her instincts about Mia's looks were right when the royal hairdresser Paolo proved it, although he then thought he deserved the credit for her looks, and 'outed' her to all the papers, much to Clarisse's chagrin.

"I thought Paolo and those two assistants were asked to sign confidentiality agreements," she said agitatedly to Joseph as they drove to the school that morning.

"The two girls did, but you didn't give him one. But it's a common mistake- I'd do it too."

"But one that's cost Mia her anonymity," Clarisse groaned, mentally hitting her forehead.

Luckily, Mia took it rather well but still gave nothing away, which clearly frightened her mother a little bit.

The afternoon before the ball, she took Mia the diary her father had left her, and slipped the envelope addressed to her in it before she had left Genovia. The carousel had been sent on as soon as Clarisse had decided to visit San Francisco.

It was then, over mugs of tea, that Mia told her of her decision and, although Clarisse was disappointed, she realised something mattered more- her relationship with her granddaughter. She didn't want to force her to do something that she didn't want to do.

"_Oh, my dear….you are, first and foremost, my granddaughter," _Clarisse said firmly, and strode over to give her a warm embrace.

It suddenly didn't matter that she herself was now on the crown indefinitely- or until the Von Trokans wrested it away from her- all that mattered, when looking into her granddaughter's face, was that Mia was happy.

"She's not going to do it," she said quietly to Joe as they drove back to the consulate. The barrier between them had disappeared again- after sharing a private dance together, they both realised that they would always have something special between them, and it was not much point trying to ignore it.

Joe glanced into the mirror, and looked into her direct blue eyes.

"How does that make you feel?"

"At first, Joseph, before we met, I was more concerned about having a new Queen for Genovia but….having developed a relationship with Mia over the past fortnight, her happiness means more to me than forcing her to be a princess. Her father would have wanted that."

It was the first time she had mentioned Phillipe in a long time, but it was true. Joseph smiled and knew that Clarisse had done the right thing, even if it meant sacrificing her own personal happiness.

"I'm proud of you," he said quietly, and she gazed up in surprise before giving him a gentle smile.

There was a minor panic when Mia didn't show up with Helen, but she thankfully arrived just in time, with Joseph, and her announcement surprised everyone- except Clarisse. Although she had accepted Mia's decision, and had shown Joseph her resignation, she had had the feeling that it wasn't over yet.

"_This morning, when I woke up, I was Mia Thermopolis. But now, I choose to be, for evermore…" _she glanced over at Clarisse, who had tears in her eyes. _"Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi…Princess of Genovia."_

It had been the proudest moment of Clarisse's life, and she realised that Phillipe had been right- Mia was more like her than she had realised……..

PRESENT

Clarisse continued to kneel as she placed the bouquet of flowers she had brought on the grave, and looked at the headstone.

"You would be so proud of her, Phillipe. Everyone else thought that she wouldn't be able to do it, but Joseph and I believed in her. She's so very much like you- and you were right, she is like me, in a lot of ways. I think she is going to make an excellent ruler one day, and I wish that you were here to see her….." she said softly, tears beginning to stream down her face…or was it the heavy drops of rain that she could feel.

Her tears and the rain mixed on her face as she looked down at the grave- she would miss him every day of her life, and knew that there would be no one else like him….But his daughter had brought joy and laughter back into her life again, and she was looking forward to the future with confidence……Thinking of her future, it brought another subject to fore, one she had been trying to keep a lid on for over a year. But since that dance, and another dance out in the middle of the rose garden, it was impossible to keep a lid on her feelings……

"Your Majesty?" A hand pressed gently down on her shoulder, and she almost jumped out of her skin as she turned to see Joseph looking down at her, almost as wet as she was.

"Yes, Joseph?" She wiped the tears away and stood up, brushing the dirt off her knees and skirt.

Suddenly, even though it had been a sad morning of reminiscing, she didn't feel as sad anymore- Phillipe would always be in her heart, and in the character of her Mia. Suddenly, as they stood there, soaking wet, she wanted to make another decision.

"I think you'd better get into the car- this shower is turning heavy."

Clarisse looked up at the sky- she had been so absorbed in her thoughts that she had failed to notice the heavy clouds that had built up during the morning. J

oseph had noticed them, and had watched them intently, but he hadn't wanted to disturb Her Majesty when she was kneeling down in front of her son's grave. But he was surprised at the flushed look on her face, and the open heart in her eyes.

"Alright…"she said slowly, before giving him a long kiss on the mouth, and walking away just as regally. Joseph, surprised, followed her and just as he was about to shut her door, she smiled invitingly up him- gosh, he thought to himself, she looked gorgeous even when she was sopping wet.

"Please sit in the back with me, Joseph. I want you to."

Joseph, unable to say a word, slid in beside her and shut the door. The driver, looking back in the review mirror, looked surprised, before Joseph said "Let's go."

As the car began to move, Clarisse pressed the button, and the part between driver and the back seat closed.

"Are you alright, Clarisse?" Joseph, still stunned by the kiss, asked worriedly- he couldn't bear to think that the stress and strain of the day had finally gotten to her. Clarisse chuckled softly as she looked at him, her eyes reflecting the open heart he had wanted to see again, and hadn't seen in so long.

"I'm perfectly fine, Joseph. I am still recovering from Phillipe's death, and I probably always will, but he is here- in my heart, and with Mia. I've thought so much about everything else, but I never thought about you and I. Joseph," she said formally, taking his hands in hers.

"One day, Mia will become Queen of Genovia, and I don't know when or how, but one day I will marry you. That's all I want now, and I am willing to wait until Mia is ready. I love you, with all of my heart, and you have been so good to me- especially when I've tried to push you and Charlotte away. You've never given up on me- and I will always be grateful to you for that. I love you- and that's not going to change," she finished, before leaning forward and giving him another loving kiss.

She pulled away a moment later, looking worried.

"But, what about you? How do you feel about this?" Joseph watched her for a moment, and then took her into his arms for a warm hug.

"I've waited so long for you to come back, and I meant what I said the evening of the funeral- I will never give up on you. I love you too," and he proved it by giving her another long, loving but passionate kiss.

After they broke apart, she leaned up against him, her head on her chest. "Mia will be ringing tonight….."

"And what will you be telling her?" She smiled up at him radiantly.

"Not this- but how wonderful how father was…..can you help me remember a few stories about him?"

"That would be an honour," he said, before kissing the top of her forehead. "As it is to be serving you," he whispered. "One day, we will be married."

"One day, Joseph, one day…….."


End file.
